Mom'n Through a Pandemic

The life of a working mom has always been a juggling act. Between getting kids to daycare or school, getting to work on time, and afternoon activities (oh, and don't forget to eat!), there have always been a lot of balls in the court of a mom who works outside of the home. But in March of 2020, the mom who finally got into somewhat of a rhythm of juggling all the things, felt like all of the balls in her life were going to drop...at the same time.

Gone were the days of the hustle to get out the door in time, sports practices, and even the commute to work..what’s that? Suddenly, families were all home together. Working mothers now took on a multitude of roles, from employee, to teacher (aide), and childcare provider to name a few. In a matter of weeks, working moms were bearing the brunt of the pandemic. What has evolved from this is what experts are calling a “she-session” - with over 800,000 working mothers leaving their jobs since last September. With those exits, it is being stated that the gender diversity progress that had been made over the past 50 years is likely to be pushed back over a decade due to the pandemic. 

Every working mom has her own unique story on how this past year changed her work, changed her life. Here, we’re sharing the perspectives of two of RPM PR’s working moms - Founder/CEO, Rae Pardini Matson, and Managing Director, Marcy Oliver, both moms of 2 leading the circus act that is now bleeding into 2021. Come along for the ride.

How were the early days of the pandemic?

Marcy: I remember walking onto my kids’ school campus feeling excited for a two-week Spring Break. Little did we know what was coming! There was a lot of uncertainty but we enjoyed those first few weeks together - we took more bike rides together than ever before, watched movies, and Facetimed family. After we realized the kids weren't going back to school was when the “oh s**t” moment happened. Our world literally turned upside down and the stress started to settle in. The kids started to miss school and the normalcy of life. We had tears and frustration (from the kids and me!), but also felt a sense of calm - weird, I know! I went into survival mode. I set up a section in our kitchen for all their school supplies and each night would write down on a whiteboard what they would need to do the next day. I had to cut down my work hours just to give the kids what they needed. We took a lot of midday walks together in the sun to ground ourselves and get out of the house. I didn't want them to feel the stress of what was happening in the world, so I kept our house a safe haven and kept out most of the bad news that was happening across the globe out (i.e. no news on for them to hear). Each night we shared our peaks (no pits!) and tried our best to focus on the good around us. 

Rae: When it comes to home life and work life, the early days of the COVID-19 shelter in place order were actually pretty manageable, all things considered. I think partially because we thought, or at least the media led us to believe at the time, that the closure was only going to last for a couple weeks. I remember Michael and I sitting down and trying to figure out our schedules and how we were going to manage trying to get work done (remotely) while being active and present parents to our girls. I think it was after those first couple weeks when we realized this shelter in place order was going to last longer was really when it all set in for me. The overwhelming feeling of how I, we, were going to “do it all” was a lot to process. 

What did you learn about yourself and about being a mother through this past year?

Marcy: I learned that myself and my kids are stronger and more resilient than I could have ever imagined! I like to say that we “leaned in and looked up.” There was lots of prayer and focus on what I could impact - my home and the four people that live in it. I learned that my attitude truly guides our household. If I was outwardly stressed or upset, my kids (and hubby) could sense it. It was, and still is, extremely important for me to be in a healthy mental state for my family, so I began moving (walks, virtual workouts, bike rides) more than ever before, and it really was the best therapy for me and my family. 

I also learned that a mom on a mission can get a lot done in not a lot of time! Due to the changes in our schedules, I had to learn how to condense 8 hours of work into 5 on certain days. I have learned to time block like never before -  two hours of work, one hour helping my kids with school and making lunches, back to work for 3 hours, etc. Time blocking helps me hyper focus my time on the task at hand and not feel so distracted. 

Rae: I learned to slow down; that I overcommitted to things. It’s amazing how much you can truly enjoy the little moments, and watch your children grow right before your eyes without plans on the calendar. Just home and present with your family. That was definitely my favorite part of 2020. At the beginning of shelter in place (SIP) my youngest Liv was less than a year old - crawling, still drinking a bottle and still had a pacifier. At the conclusion of SIP she was walking, talking, over one year old with no paci or bottles in sight. I watched my baby girl grow up day-by-day and strongly feel that those moments, among others with both of my girls, are ones that I’ll cherish forever. And honestly probably wouldn’t have had otherwise. 

I also learned that I need to let things go. You think you know that as a first-time parent, or even a second-time parent. That you need to not sweat the small stuff and just go with the flow (to a degree), but experiencing something as life-changing as this Covid pandemic, really puts things into perspective. There were some afternoons we stayed in our pajamas and watched Disney movies together and just sang and danced and played, when normally as a mom I would put pressure on myself to get my girls dressed and ready for the day, on their usual schedule, etc. While I am a person that thrives on having a routine, this past year really opened my eyes to being more relaxed, I guess. 

What challenged you the most? How did you deal with that? 

Marcy: What challenged me the most was having my kids around all the time. It was hard feeling pulled in so many directions. Trying to do my job, but also be a mom guiding kids through the confusion of a global pandemic  was so incredibly difficult. I am so thankful to work alongside Rae, a working mama who gets it, and to have clients who just understood the changes during this past year.  

Eventually, I built a “new normal” routine and ran with it. It took a while to get into our new groove, but we did it. Knowing the rhythm of the day and week helped my family function better. Part of this rhythm also meant that by Friday, I had to wrap up my week. We coined “Feral Friday” in our house where the kids did whatever they wanted (as long as they weren’t fighting or hurting each other) so I could get my work done and wrapped up. Some of my best memories of those months was finding my kids in their homemade fort, or outside creating cities out of cardboard boxes they found. Was it a mess at the end of the day? Yep! But it was worth it.  

Rae: By far, what challenged me the most was actually getting COVID. We had sold our house, bought a new house and were in the thick of the time where we needed to be packing and getting ready for this exciting new venture in our lives, and it hit me hard. It felt like my body was shutting down. I was so sick, in isolation from my family, and could barely function. My symptoms were changing what felt like daily, and every day that passed that I could hear my husband and daughters laugh and play in the house while I was laying in bed just made me so emotional. It challenged my body, my mind, everything. I definitely feel like I came out the other side, 2+ weeks later, even more grateful for good health.

What lessons are you taking with you?

Marcy: That slow is ok!! One of the greatest gifts of this last year was quality time. Not rushing to and from events, to sports practice, to school, etc. gave us precious time to hang out together as a family. Was it hard? Absolutely! But I am so proud of how my kids responded and adapted to change. As life is slowly coming back to normal (whatever that means anymore), I have fiercely protected time with my family. On Friday nights after the hustle of the week, we pick up takeout and watch a show together (highly recommend Julie and the Phantoms or the new Mighty Ducks!). Contentment and happiness does not come from a packed schedule, it comes from hearing the peak of my kids’ day, the weekend movie marathons, bouncing on a trampoline together, and bike rides to the park. 

Rae: To slow down. To be patient. To savor the moments. To be grateful for your health, and take care of your body. I’m so guilty of going going going in life - one more cup of coffee, one more errand, squeezing in one more social function before another. My biggest takeaway from this last year, and a lesson I hope to teach my children is that we only get one life - don’t let it pass you by.